Can you remember? The fun we had? No? I do. I can see it all clearly now. Thinking of you just hurts me. Although you have died, I'm looking forward. Actually I don't want to. But I have to. The world turned into some other world, into a black-white world. The moment you passed on was the most horrible moment in my whole life. So, please, let me hold you once more. I want to feel you, have you in my arms, just want to have a nice time. I don't know, what to do anymore. It is hard for me to speak about you. When they are talking about you I'm always close to tears, trying to remember everything. I don't want to be seen as weak. So I lock myself up and cry. And not speaking with someone tears me apart. Holding everything back ... is an imposition. Sometimes it's hard to remember, because somehow my memories get foggy. Memories are all I have. I don't have anything I can hold on to. We know each other now for very long, I think more than 15 years now - so since my birth. I saw you as a family member. You were someone great to me. A heartkinded, friendly, beautiful and loveable person with a bright future - in my heart you always be like this, don't forget that. Mahal kita. <'3 3o.12.2oo8